I had the extreme pleasure of going blackberry picking this last weekend. I haven’t gone berry picking in years and years. These last three years especially since I’ve been confined to a wheelchair. I was pretty apprehensive about going when it was first brought to my attention. My first instinct was “I can’t do this!” Oh but I wanted to, so badly. I agreed to give it a try though so my daughter, Lakota, and I piled into Breeze’s van and down the road we went.
We went to this quaint little ranch called The Berry Ranch. They sell all kinds of different fruits and vegetables but the berries they sell you pick yourself. They have HUGE rows of each kind of berry including raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries. They gave each adult in our group, myself excluded, a flat to put our berries in and directed us to the blackberry rows. We chose blackberries to begin with because we wanted to make our own jam-plus blackberries are amazing. Now keep in mind that I haven’t been walking a whole lot. I still have my wheelchair and I still use that primarily to get around. Because it’s a motorized wheelchair, when I go on outings I haven’t been able to take it as it won’t fit in anyone’s car and I don’t own a vehicle. To compensate I’ve been using a walker to get around so most of my outings are pretty short or there is somewhere I can sit down. Not this particular outing. Instead I was going to have to push my walker over uneven ground in between these rows of blackberries in order to participate in the blackberry picking. Did I mention that each row was around a half mile and there wasn’t any way to switch between rows halfway through. If you started on one row you either walked to the end or turned around to go back to the beginning. A daunting task for someone who hasn’t really been walking for that long.
I was determined to try it though, I wanted to eat some blackberries pretty bad. Plus it was something I had done all the time as a little kid and then given up as an adult. I want to get those things back. Now I obviously couldn’t push my walker and carry a flat at the same time but I did make my way out to the blackberry patch. It was a pretty hot day so I worked up a good sweat just getting out to the rows of blackberry’s. I won’t lie, it was exhausting work and that’s just getting out there. It was extremely difficult once I got there. The ground was very uneven and the rows were covered in vines and branches so it was very tough to push my walker through the rows. It was also pretty narrow in certain spots which meant I had to completely lift my walker off the ground and carry it as I was trying to walk. I only made it about halfway down one of the rows before I had to turn around and head back.
I was very frustrated about that. I had wanted to be able to do it so badly but once I got out there I just knew it wasn’t going to work. I tried though and for that I’m proud of myself. I don’t feel as if I gave up-I know my body just wasn’t ready. The hard part for me is the realization that these limitations that I’m experiencing are the consequences of years of bad decisions. I let myself get so debilitated that working myself back up to being able to walk can be constantly frustrating and exhausting. It really sucked having to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else do what I couldn’t. I don’t ever want to be there again. I’m going to use this experience as future motivation whenever I feel like giving up. The only person I would be giving up on is myself. I can’t allow myself to do that anymore.
My friend Jenea came with
Lakota had such a good time
Our haul-Yummy.
I may have snacked a bit
I had to reach for the good ones
The sun was in my eyes
Proof that I did it.
I was pooped!
See how overgrown the rows were?
Chronicles Of A Wilted Flower 